As some of you know, I spent the weekend with the extended family at a resort area in cabins for a big family reunion. It was the first time back to a place that I dreaded going to for years because my 'drinking' didn't like it. Those trips cramped my drinking's style.
It made me aware of just how much control alcohol had over me. It made me aware of how much I have lost because of my drinking. It wasn't just lost drinking time that those trips cost me, but more importantly, I lost a lot of 'what could've beens' on those trips. I lost time just being with my family and 'enjoying the moment' in exchange for 'surviving the moment' wishing desperately to be lonely (not just alone, but lonely) drinking away my life while dreaming of the happiness that was right in from of my eyes. I lost time laughing and relaxing because I was busy calculating when I could drink again, where I was going to get it, how was I going to hide, and how could I dispose of it in the morning without getting 'caught'.
I often hear people talk about how much money they are saving by not drinking. Usually that is found by figuring how much money we spend on alcohol per day, multiplying that by 7 to get our weekly total, and then multiplying that by 52 to get our annual cost of alcohol consumption.
But when I look back at the weekend that I just enjoyed and the cost of alcohol and compare it to the cost of alcohol on my previous trips, I think I might have forgotten a few key costs...
How much did drinking cost you per year?
Let's start the list:
Cost of alcohol consumed per day______________
Multiply that by 7______________(weekly cost)
Multiply that by 52________________(annual cost)
now add...
Cost of lost time with family__________
Cost of pain inflicted upon loved ones___________
Cost of shame and regret for my actions_____________
Cost of apologies as well as the reason FOR the apologies__________
Cost of time spent lying about our drinking___________
Cost of time hiding our drinking____________
Cost of time planning our next bout of drinking____________
Cost of NOW moments that we will never get back_________
Total Cost_____________
yeah, my calculator doesn't go that high either....