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  • Jeff Graham

The Will to Want or The Want to Will

Updated: Aug 3, 2021

I’ve known for a long time that I drank too much. I’ve known that my drinking desires and compulsions exceeded that of the “normal” drinker and that it was becoming a problem. I knew that I should quit drinking! I knew it was a problem and I wanted to quit. I wanted to be a better father. I wanted to be a better husband. I wanted to be a better employee. I wanted to be the person I wanted to be. Oh, I also wanted to be the greatest piano player in the world. But obviously, I didn’t want it that much…..

I wanted to get sober for a long time, but wanting it accomplished nothing for me. I can want things all day, but until I am WILLING to do whatever it takes to get it, I will not get there.

Look at any list of people that achieved something special. Whether it be an athlete, a musician, a business owner, regardless of the title, one thing is common to all. They were WILLING to do whatever it takes to achieve their goals. Greatness is not easy to get, it usually just doesn’t happen to someone that wants to achieve it. In almost all cases, it takes work, dedication, hard work, sacrifice and especially a lot of hard work. It usually is not a part time or occasional effort that results in these goals. For most of us, greatness takes a full time, unwavering commitment and effort. Those that are not WILLING to give it 110% or more, are more than likely not going to get to where they WANT to go.

I want to be sober. I want to be the person that I want to be. The question I have for myself is whether or not I am WILLING to do whatever it takes to get it. Maybe that is why so many that succeed in sobriety are those that had to hit bottom first. I would hope it wasn’t the case, but maybe I had to almost lose everything that mattered most in my life before I became WILLING to listen to, and apply the steps and instructions that are mandated to achieve my goals. Maybe it took me throwing in the towel, and finally admitting that doing this the way I WANTED to do it, wasn’t going to work.

I am WILLING to bet that my life is worth more than just wanting to save it! I am seeing the work pay off, and I am WILLING to do whatever it takes to keep it going in the direction I always wanted!

Willingness is where the person in recovery makes a choice to listen to someone else and demonstrates a willingness to consider doing something a different way than they would have chosen on their own.

To NOT choose their own way – is rarely easy, but critical to growth, change and progress in recovery.

Until someone is WILLING, nothing can change, even if someone is capable of the change. If a person is WILLING, they can become capable. The reverse is rarely true. A capable person is not able to change if they are not willing.

And WILLINGNESS is an inside job!

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